April 15th

EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S WINDY

The past two days have been really windy here, gale force gusts in spots. Today I was driving back from the grocery store and saw some big pieces of palm blow off of the tree. REALLY big fronds, they would have certainly put some hurt on a person or a car if they had landed on them. So, I was hesitant to drive under the spot where the stuff had fallen until I made sure that nothing else was on the way down. Some butt head in a big black pick-up truck with huge tires and a Raiders sticker honked because I was apparently preventing him from getting to the next stop sign in 2.3 seconds. I proceeded cautiously, dodging the big pieces of dead palm in the road. He sped right through the debris, went around me, and dammit if he didn't beat me to the stop sign a block away.

I then uttered my usual comment to men who drive the biggest, baddest vehicles at the fastest possible speed and act like arrogant assholes on the road:

Dude! Sorry to hear about your penis!