December 26th

ANYONE WANT A USED DOG? CHEAP!

Two for one sale!

First I put my glass down on the coffee table and FlufferNutter tried to drink out of it. He merely succeeded in knocking it on the floor and spilling it. This is why I use plastic glasses. While I was trying to make myself a new drink, Bentley decided to stick his big head into the refrigerator in an attempt to steal the tenderloin left over from Christmas dinner. He only managed to remove the top from the container, the meat was saved.

JOB OPPORTUNITY

Maybe not. I was watching some "workers" from the probation department clean up the sidewalk where the broken TV had been sitting for months. They did a good job-cut down the weeds, trimmed the bushes, generally un-ghettoed the sidewalk. When they got back in the van and drove away I noticed a big ad on the van.

NOW HIRING!

Hey kids! Get a DUI, get a job! (It was an ad to apply to be a Deputy Sheriff, but I still got a kick out of it.)

NETFLIX-BLOCKBUSTER-NETFLIX?

I used to use Netflix, until they started taking six days to show they had received a DVD back and in the meantime were sending me emails encouraging me to upgrade to a plan with more movies out at a time. I switched to Blockbuster-because for the same price you could have the same amount of DVDs out at a time AND you could get free rentals for each DVD you returned to the store. Then they raised the price for unlimited in-store exchanges per month, but it was still a good deal. Last week I got a notice that they were raising the price AGAIN, this time by 40%. Uh, no thanks. Netflix lowered the price for three movies at a time, so I guess I'll go back to Netflix. Blockbuster was playing the game of starting out too cheap and hoping that people will be too lazy to switch when they jacked up the price by a ridiculous percentage. Or too stupid to know that a 40% increase is uncalled for in any type of business.

MORONS BLABBING ON PUBLIC FORUMS

Comments on a story about a horse spooked by a musician, so PETA is pushing to ban the horse drawn carriages in NYC:
"Why don't NYC ban the street musicians. They are noisey and disturb the residents and tourists by their panhandling not to mention the noise pollution they cause. If they caused the spooking of the horse, shut them down not the carriages. And tell PETA to go take a Flying F*** at a rolling donut! They are getting ridiculous! Take Avila with them!"
"We travel to NYC every year and have finally stopped taking the carriage rides through a small portion of Central Park. The hores are great, but the carriage drivers have gotten positively surly." Did this person misspell "whores"?

From a moron who doesn't recognize sarcasm (in response to a comment that suggested banning hoodies because a rapist was described as wearing one):
"What good is it going to do if normal cizitens can't wear hoodies... Hoodies are not the problem here it's thesse punks,who think that they won't be caught and even when they do catch thesse creaps the penalty for rape is only like two years enless they used a weapon. Take away hoodies what will it be next ( beenies and baseball caps). Women need to take self defension course's plan and simple..."

"YOU CHARGER HATERS MAKE ME PUKE. IF HE WAS A CHARGER AND I DO BELIEVE HE WAS THEN HE DONE DID ALOT OF GOOD FOR OUR CITY AND THE JUDGE SHOULD FREE HIM NOW. HE AINT NO CRIMINAL AND THATS FOR SURE. IF WE DONT SHOW NO RESPECT FOR OUR TEAM WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE WE??????? THE CHARGER DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE AND WE SHOULDN'T JUDGE HIM. THATS FOR GOD TO DO." This guy probably learned as much in school as some of the football players-who obviously didn't see a scholarship as an opportunity to get a good education.