January 4th

OUCH!

I got my first rescue-related dog bite yesterday. Not the dog's fault-his leg was caught and he was hanging upside down. I tried to free him and he panicked and bit me. Hard. I bled all over the inside of my car. The worst bite is on the ball of my right thumb. Believe me-it's hard to even wipe your butt without using your thumb.

FUNNY THINGS FROM JOB POSTINGS

"Graffiti Artists wanted...Partners of Random house is getting ready to release a new photo illustrated book featuring Erbin street styles." Took me a few moments to realize that Erbin isn't a renowned spray paint artist.

"Seeking writers (you do not have to be a pro) to review various generes of adult DVDs from all major studios from the convenience of your own home. You will get FREE DVDs by mail or online and will be paid cash bonuses up to $150 for your good work. If you enjoy erotica this is areat way to make money while having fun!" Yeah, I'll jump all over that one. NOT.

"Need to have gentle phone manners and the ability to be nice to less intelligent people (and not sound condescending)." Another job that is not ideal for me. I have a real hard time being nice to morons. It's a personality flaw.

And, one more job listing specifically tells me not to bother to apply:
"No lendors (sic) or processors." No problem. I don't want to work for anyone who can't spell "lender" anyway.

RANDOM MORON-SPEAK:

From the Union-Tribune's website: "Park's might oaks: Drying and dying"
What's a "might oak"?

And, more morons with computers posting on public forums:

"And another Republican gone awry..........they kill abortion doctors, leaders, and anyone else who doesn't bow to G.W. Bush and go to church where their kids get molested. I love being a Democat!"