May 4th

IT GREW LEGS AND WALKED AWAY!

I am speaking of the remote control for the TV in my bedroom. It has disappeared. The logical answer would be that it slipped behind the bed onto the floor. It's not there. It's not in the bed, or on the bed, or on the floor on the side of the bed. I suppose I could have carried it somewhere and laid it down, but that's not very likely. I doubt that a dog ate it-the only things besides raw meat that are in danger of being eaten by my dogs are paper and cardboard. (My dogs really would eat my homework if I had any.) Of course, as soon as I go out and buy a new remote the missing one will magically reappear. I just like to have the TV on when I go to bed and turn down the volume as I fall asleep. I guess I'll have to turn off the TV and read myself to sleep for now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BROTHER

The baby of the family turns 50 today. This makes me feel old.

AND NOW, A WORD FROM OUR MORONS:

Channel 10:

“Greeted by the media's flashing lenses....” Oh, how sad it is that this little nugget was uttered by the woman I once thought was one of the only intelligent reporters at Channel 10. I must now come to the conclusion that they are all complete and utter morons.

“...waiting to hear about the dangers of pool safety.” Huh?

Craigslist:

“This position is commission only. In life the risk you take gives you the results you have. We do not settle for less. We seek ambitious,highly motivated individuals expanding their thoughts to take it to the next level. Billion Dollar Company from Scratch.
Commissions can be lump sums, Sale 1 House make $10,000-$50,000. Commissions can be residual $500 per week for a year for closing 1 Client. This is 1 client, can you close more than 1??????”

"....... Photographers Needed ASAP ...... Fast Passed Hip Unique Fun"