Saturday, July 28, 2012

WHO IS DOUGLAS ANTHONY COOPER?

I must ask your forgiveness for interupting my usual blather about my really boring life to educate you about Douglas Anthony Cooper.

I don't like him.  He stole my socks.  The thing is, he also stole your socks.  He is an evil genius, and has invented a machine that will suck any socks lost while doing laundry into his vile, rented, abode that he shares with an equally evil hairless dog.  The dog is reported to eat socks, so that is perhaps why the evil Douglas Anthony Cooper invented the evil sock-sucking machine.  I've heard rumors that he keeps a jar of toe-jam in his refrigerator, perhaps he spreads the jam on the socks he serves to the dog.

He recently cheated on Robert Pattinson.  He claimed that it was because Robert doesn't wear socks, but I think it's because he was jealous of Rob's clearly superior toe jam.

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